Hi people! Well, I finished a mini marathon day of testing and appointments at one of my hospitals today. I had a cardiac CT, got another heart monitor, and did a lot of hurrying up and waiting haha. But I did get some thinking and praying done. I got my texts out earlier this week (finally) for prayer requests. I’ve been getting more and more behind on getting my texts out to people before the literal end of the week. I know I’m not obligated to do that but not having prayer requests to pray for leaves me with a lot of down time to get in my own head about things. And I realized something. Pain can make me SOOOOO self centered. I want people to care about me, to help me, to empathize with ME when I’m hurting. Which is normal! But the problem for me is, I have chronic pain!! I’m always hurting or uncomfortable somewhere. So does that entitle me to always be focused on me me me? Or does focusing on others allow me a small, quite way to prioritize others, even when I don’t think they realize it? My favorite question to ask when I find myself stewing or dwelling on a certain thought or topic is, “What good does this serve? What am I or others getting out of my continuing to think about this thing?” I wish I could say that if the answer isn’t good, I always switch to focusing on something else. But I’m trying to be as painfully honest as I can in the blog. Sometimes I don’t WANT to think about others. Sometimes I want to throw the pity parties and maybe even upgrade them to pity parades! But eventually I find myself realizing that when I focus on myself and my pain, I only feel my pain more. In fact, I can even make my pain worse when I obsess over it. Because that is what I need in life is pain that is literally self induced, right? While I wait for results and more calls about findings, I wanted to share what I realized today. Sometimes, that waiting room in one of the darkest, trickiest places for me to be. So I have to use my own mind and rely on the gifts God has given me like amazing friends and family to pray for to keep my mind focused on what it needs to be thinking about.

It wouldn’t be a babble without ending on a bad joke! Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!